The perfect boss?

Don’t spend you time searching for that perfect boss. There maybe someone you feel perfect at a particular time, however this is likely more about what you need at a certain time, rather than a person who has it all covered. Happy to be challenged!

There are brilliant leaders out there and you will find a few along the way that will stand out for you. It will be at a certain time in your career or just a connection of style that makes it work. What is important for you is less important for someone else. One of your colleagues will appear to thrive under a particular leader, however you are left scratching your head, as you just don’t see it.

Along the way there will be a leader who inspires and connects the whole team. Not just someone that everyone likes, however someone who can really rally a group of diverse people and drive a strong way forward. Count yourself lucky if you have this and embrace it!

It is really hard to know what a leader is going to be like, based on limited interactions before you start a role. You may also have your rose tinted glasses on, as you face an exciting new opportunity. It is a little easier if you have been able to observe within an existing organisation, however even here, watching from a far vs reporting line interaction can be very different. I have had all manner of leaders over the years - some great and a few, really bad. What I know on reflection, is this is mostly about where I have been in my career at the time and what I need in a leader, to drive me forward. Less about an individual person.

For me, the minute I feel I can‘t learn anything more from someone, is a critical juncture. Frustration I can manage and what I might view as bad decisions or weaknesses, well, no one is perfect. Feeling that you could do a better job or you don’t feel the respect you should for them, it’s time to move on. There are views that people leave a leader, not an organisation. I believe this to some extent, however it is not true in every case. Sometimes there is just a better opportunity in front of you. One of the most challenging situations is where you are torn between loyalty and genuine care for your leader, however where you find yourself needing more. Always make it about what you need. A great leader will understand and support whatever you choose to do.

So some thoughts and suggestions on where you have that leader, that is not quite working for you, however there are other factors, that mean you want to stay put for a little longer;

• Do not get stuck in the spiral of focusing on how frustrating they are. This is very distracting, drive you a little crazy and you will waste effort and energy that you could be spending on positive/growth activities.

• Find something calming that stops you boiling at particular times. Recognise the agitation triggers. Internally count to ten or breathe deeply, remain calm and push through it. Whatever you need to do.

• Is there anything at all you are learning from them - regardless of style? There will be something, however if you are frustrated, you won't be seeing it. Look a little deeper.

• They are human and may have no idea that what they are doing is really frustrating. Can you give feedback and how it is impacting you? (Be really sure that you are able to do this - feedback to your leader is not always easy!)

• Use it as a learning / development exercise. In particular if you see a negative impact on the broader team. Be calm and objective. Take away specific problem areas as "not what to do" yourself as you move through your career.

If all fails and you find that it is not workable, its time to look for another opportunity. Where it is less about where you are in your career and more about universally recognised problem areas, such as micro managing, bullying or any type of toxic behaviour, move on as fast as you can. Life is too short. Your health, career and you, are way too important to have anyone have that sort of impact on you. Don’t give away your power. If you are currently working for a great leader, enjoy every minute of it. Learn all of those positive skills, that you can use and impart on others, as you move through your own career.

Until next time

Lisa