Body language

You know that feeling . Someone has said something in a meeting or there is a conversation underway, that is frustrating you. Without even realising it, you might be shifting around in your chair, or you might have crossed your arms. You might just have a look on your face that you get when annoyed.

It might be something more obvious, such as tapping a pen or drumming your fingers or sighing audibly.

You may not even know you are doing it, however I can pretty much guarantee, there are others in the meeting who will. Aside from distracting yourself and disengaging you from what might be an important conversation, this can play out externally, in various ways.

If differing views are the source of your frustration, this can quickly become a weak point, for an observant colleague who is wanting to “win” the discussion.

Others, in particular more junior of the group, may become uncomfortable and think its safer to stop talking. You “check out” and an important conversation / outcome for the business is missed.

If a regular occurrence, your leader may observe this behaviour and start to wonder as to your readiness to take on more, or that next role.

This is where it gets tricky. You can’t sit there like a robot or with a blank or false smile on your face. This is just inauthentic and depending on the look on your face a little bit scary! You also want to be invested in these challenging and robust conversations and not sit on the sidelines.

Like most things there is no magic bullet. Your body language, which is likely to have developed over years, will need focus and effort, to tweak some of those negative aspects. The very first step is awareness. Observe and take note of your trigger points and how you are responding. Ask a trusted colleague to observe and provide you with feedback after a meeting. Once aware, find little ways to recognise the behaviour and adjust. It might a note stuck in your notebook shouting STOP!. It might be a rubber band on your wrist that you flick to reset yourself. Essentially, whatever you need to do, to notice and adjust.

Aside from yourself, observing others around you and how they respond in meetings or situations, is important. Doing this, may actually be a tactic your can use, to build your own self awareness. Reading the room is a critical skill to develop, as I have mentioned previously.

Provide constructive feedback to your colleagues where you feel comfortable. Many people will have no idea of the non verbal language they are portraying, including the impact it may be having.

Whether a face to face or online meeting, conference call or large group forum, this is your brand on show. Take care of it.

Until next time Lisa